My daughter, Kate, loves to write. Several years ago I received a poem from her that I have now read probably a hundred times. I expect that I will read it a hundred times more as our heart song plays on.     

Two Pieces of Twine 

by Kate Oechsler (Age 10) 

He held me when I was born, and he did not mourn.

He helped me learn to ride a trike, 

And then on to a two-wheeled bike.

He taught me words to say when I would need to pray.

He loves me very much, and I love his warm touch.

We are like pieces of twine, I am his and he is mine.

We went to the zoo and saw a giraffe, 

It licked our hands and made us laugh.

I will grow up someday, find a dream and fly away.

But he will still be mine, just like twisted pieces of twine.

He'll walk me down the aisle, with a happy smile.

I'll be covered with silk and lace, and a grin on my face.

He will cry some though, but they're tears of joy I know.

They're for his little girl, and inside his heart he's doing a twirl.

I'll take the love he'll give, then go and live.

And when his life comes to an end, 

He'll still be my very best friend.

Me and my Daddy are pieces of glad twisted twine, 

Because I am his, and he is mine.

Author's Note: God inspired me to write this poem and some of my ideas came from the song, "Butterfly Kisses."

My time in retail was the best on-the-job, customer service training I've ever received. And the work itself proved to be a great fit for me. Being in my twenties, retail offered a flexible schedule and steady income punctuated by overtime pay for working above and beyond. 

I didn't seek out retail it found me. I had been working nights and weekends at a Mobil station while attending Prince George's Community College in Largo, Maryland. One late Fall Saturday night a buddy from high school pulled in for gas. These were the days of "full service" so with a smile I filled him up, checked his oil, and squeegeed the windshield.  

Leaning against his car while I worked away, Mike told me it was too cold and wet to be working outside all winter long. He suggested I talk to his boss at Memco, a membership department store (remember those) just down the road. So I did and got the job as a stock boy just 30-something shopping days 'til Christmas.

My retail career spanned ten years. I worked for three different retailers at nine different stores in four states. There really is nothing like working retail, especially during the holidays. Beginning Black Friday (Thanksgiving Day +1) life as you know it significantly changes. At work, "busy" just doesn't describe it. "Chaotic" is a little better but my favorite descriptors come from friends working restaurants... slammed, 86ed, in the weeds. Often you get so busy on the floor that you forget to eat, take a break, or go to the bathroom. That's when you know that you are "in the zone." 

Typical customer encounters from behind the counter go something like this: You step up to a pressing throng of holiday shoppers, eyes beckon, "over here." They beg, "pick me!" and seem to scream, "I'm next" or scream at you, "HEY, I was next!" A single directed phrase from you quiets the crowd, "how may I help YOU?" Now you focus on your customer, addressing his or her needs one-on-one, making the best of the situation as well as making the sale.  

A person can grow to really love this kind of work. I did. You can even grow to love the people you meet. I found that "regular" customers can become much more than that. While working in Southern California there was women in her mid- to late-seventies named Barbara who would stop in several times a week. Sometimes we would grab a cup of coffee and just chat. She liked to share stories about growing up in Orange County "in the day." She had worked at Knott's Berry Farm for many years and had lived within walking distance. She didn't talk much about her husband who had died awhile back nor her children who had grown and moved off to somewhere.

She lived in a small but tidy mobile home park with palm trees and narrow little streets. I remember one Mother's Day when my wife Stacy and I took Barbara out for dinner to a nice restaurant near our home. She got all dressed up and we brought her flowers. Later when we dropped her off she insisted on giving us a huge brick of government-issued cheese to take back with us (I guess newly married couples can never get enough cheese and 70ish widows can only eat so much). 

When Stacy and I moved from Southern California she gave us about a dozen pieces of pale green and light pink Depression Glass. These small plates and cups, Barbara's heirlooms, have been a part of our home for a quarter century and still grace the corner hutch in our dining room. One customer who became a regular and then a friend also has remained a small part of a family.  

If it were in my power, I would create a special form of Selective Service (emphasis on the idea of "service" as in serving others). My program would call up young men and women into a season of working in a store, hotel, restaurant, or the like. I'm pretty sure it would help shape them personally, relationally, and professionally. Hopefully, they will meet a few customers like Barbara.

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I struck out on my own one year ago this week. Much of my early success and ongoing satisfaction can be directly attributed to those who reached out to me as I tried to find/make my own way. While some folks I'd known over the years, others represented newly-formed relationships. Almost to the person I felt their genuine concern for me and a desire to help.

I have been trying to do the same, that is, investing in others as others have invested in me. While I am neither an executive coach nor trained mentor, I have been dispensing individual doses of advice to those "in transition."

Amidst all the professional upheaval many are experiencing, it seems people are longing for someone to listen to them, empathize, provide perspective, challenge them, and encourage. More and more, these "conversations" are taking place online via email, IM, texting, and social networks. But call me "old school," I still prefer talking over a good cup of freshly-brewed coffee. 

Below are two "stream of consciousness" missives I recently sent. The first was to a seasoned professional asking, "what next?" The second was for a young man about to enter the workforce and wondering, "what now?"

Advice for a Seasoned Professional:

"...don't just get "on" LinkedIn, become a power user. Your relationships (don't think 'networks') are key. Everyone you know, everywhere you've lived, every job you've held, etc. Request recommendations. Your online profile becomes your resume. Push it out to people when they ask. Link with people or check out their profiles before you meet with them. Follow other power users and draft behind them. Repurpose your content across social media/networks. Also get on Facebook (175M and growing). Don't be afraid to ask for and give advice, freely. Go out for coffee with folks (a lot). Consider consulting. Set up an LLC and get a separate checking account/credit card for business. Stay optimistic. Do something creative you have always wanted to do (e.g., teach, speak, write) that makes a difference. Oh, invests in others." 

Thoughts for a College Senior:

"A good start is just asking others that have gone before you, walked the trail so to speak. Of course, it's hard to know just what you want to do, are best suited to do, and what you will be doing 5-10-15 years down the road. So dream big, be willing to change, be O.K. with that. Don't make excuses. Apologize and learn from your mistakes and be willing to step out and risk failure. ASK YOURSELF: 1) What am I passionate about?; 2) How am I gifted?; and 3) Where can I impact? Also, what can challenge and grow you in the ways that are healthy, positive, and God-honoring? Don't compromise your integrity. I recommend you take the "Strength Finders 2.0" assessment. Buy the book, take the test, send me a copy of your top five strengths, then read the book on your own time. Play to those strengths. Make a "start doing" AND "stop doing" list. You are more than your career... meaning your title or position or office or money or perks should not define you (so guard your heart and head against drawing your identity from them). Don't compare yourself to others (stifles self-determination). Become part of a project, idea, initiative, or effort that is powerful and makes a difference in some way. I also believe in adding value to something as in being a small part of something really big. Oh, I learned a lot of this stuff the hard way."

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Here's a story you might be familiar with.

A pastor was taking a much needed sabbatical in the mountains of Eastern Europe. He was desperate for physical rest, emotional replenishment, spiritual renewal, and vocational recommitment. Sounds pretty good, doesn't it?

One morning while taking a walk in the woods a soldier appeared, rifle raised. It seemed that the pastor had crossed over the border into what was then the USSR. The soldier, whose sole assignment was to guard this invisible line between countries, shouted, "Stop! Who are you and what are you doing here?"

Although the pastor heard the question, he didn't respond. So the guard repeated, his voice (like the situation) elevated, "Who are you and what are you doing here?" Instead of answering the soldier's question, the pastor asked one of his own. "How much do you get paid to do what you do?"

And then the pastor made a most unusual offer, "Because I will gladly double your salary if you come back to where I live, stand guard outside my house, and every morning when I step outside my door stop me and ask those same two questions."

Now think about that for a moment. How would you answer the border guard?

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