Road to Nicaragua: Our Adoption Journey

March 3, 2009 10:38 PM

trail.jpg

Day 1,255

I recognize that many of you have been "walking the trail" with Stacy and me for some time. It's hard to express how much your support, encouragement, and prayers have meant to us over the last three years, five months, and six days.

This morning we heard from our attorney in Nicaragua that we have been granted a "resolution" in our case. While this may sound like just legalese (legal speak), to us it resounded like a choir of angels.

With a resolution in hand our adoption of 8- and 5-year-old sisters has entered its final stage. Very soon we'll be in Managua meeting Rosalina and Rebeca for the first time (yes, we were finally given their names!).

As you can imagine, there is still much to do. We are now operating in hyperdrive. Our plan is to keep you appropriately informed during this final phase via blogs, twitter, social networks, etc.

For anyone interested in our adoption back-story, I have tried to summarize below. Stacy and I encourage you to freely share your comments and questions.

Separate Paths

Stacy has wanted to adopt since she was five years old.

It happened innocently enough. Stacy and her older sister had crossed the street from their family's apartment in downtown Cincinnati. As they walked down the sidewalk Stacy noticed children playing behind a tall, chain linked fence. One little girl in particular came up to the fence, stared at them for a moment, and then turned and ran away.

Later back in their apartment, Stacy asked her mother, "Who are those children across the street? Is that a school?" "No that's not a school," she replied, "it's an orphanage." She went on to explain, "The children over there do not have a mom and dad like you do. They're called 'orphans' and all live together in that big building until being adopted into new families."

"So, can we adopt one?"

My story is quite a bit different from Stacy's. After my parents were told that they couldn't have biological children, they adopted an older sibling group of three. Many years later, however, they did conceive-- first me, then my little brother. So the couple that overnight became a family of five soon became a family of seven. Fun times! To be honest, I still will joke, "we learned how to put the 'fun' in dysfunctional."

Growing up as I did, adoption seemed no big deal. I can't even recall when I first learned that my older siblings were adopted. It may have first registered with me when I saw the episode on "My Three Sons" when Ernie was adopted into the family.

Bottom line, I never felt a desire to adopt.

Coming Together

Stacy and I were sitting one Sunday in the grey chairs at Mars Hill in Grandville, Michigan. Rob had just finished introducing a pastor from a church in Johannesburg, South Africa whose name was both a joy and challenge to say. In fact, we "practiced" saying it together as part of our corporate greeting. "Hello Gert (hyŏŏrt), we yelled."

Gert began telling his story in a slow and deliberate fashion. At first I thought he might be a bit intimidated speaking in the round to 4,000+ people. But soon I realized he was probably just taking his time so that no one would miss a message he'd traveled more than 8,000 miles to deliver. I appreciated that Gert's cadence helped slow down my spirit and his guttural Afrikaan accent required me to listen more intently.

What I didn't realize was that his message would change us forever.

Gert's personal "journey" started when he was a 47-year-old husband and father of three. His South African church, Mosaiek, had just started an orphanage for children impacted by HIV/AIDS. Some were infected or had parents or family members infected. Some were orphaned.

He explained that as the holidays approached, the orphanage began temporarily placing the children with church families to give the regular caregivers a break. Gert's wife, Karin, and her ministry team were successful placing all the children except one, a frail little boy named Gary who was HIV positive and dying. Gert described how Gary's legs were no larger than his own fingers.

So one day Karin asked Gert if they could care for Gary in their home. Emphatically, Gert said, "No" and reminded her that they too needed a holiday break. However, over the next week Karin came back strong and this time their children had joined their mother to plead Gary's case. Gert lovingly described Karin's persistence as "nagging" and asked us if we had such a term here in our country. Resigned to the fact that his family was never going to let up, Gert agreed to take Gary in for the holiday.

Gert then began describing a moment he had shared early on with Gary. He called it their "deep connecting" experience. My notes in church that morning recorded it this way:

"He was staring at me. We were in an 'eye-lock.' It was as if he was sending me an 'eye-mail.' There was deep sorrow, this child was crying out for help. We were in a high and deep level of discussion and he was saying to me, 'I have no hope. I am alone. I have no home. No family. No money. No health.'"

Then Gert said he felt as though God had joined Gary and him in the conversation. And he heard God say to him, "Gert, I am not asking you to sacrifice a child because I have already done that for you. I am just asking that you receive this child in my name." And at that moment Gert said, "Yes." He looked at Gary and made this promise, "Yes I will take you in as my son and receive you into my life."

Gert shared a picture of his son on a bike, leaning over the handlebars and smiling widely. He looked to be about four years old. Remarkably, Gert said Gary was now HIV negative and that the doctors have told them he would no longer need to be tested for HIV/AIDS.

Beyond his improved physical health, Gary may be following in his father's pastoral footsteps. Gert ended his time with us recalling how Gary came into their living room one morning and insisted Gert sit down so that they could "have church." Stepping on a small overturned box, Gary with arms sweeping, preached this message: "God is life. Jesus gives life. The Lord brings life." Then he closed with, "Church over dadda... you can go now. Amen"

And soon after that our church ended as well, we were dismissed. But as people around us filed out, Stacy and I just sat in our seats. While I was incredibly moved by Gert's testimony, she didn't realize its full impact on me. I leaned in and showed Stacy what I had scribbled down at the end of the message, something I was sure she had just said to me, "It's time." But Stacy had not said a thing.

Those two words told Stacy my heart had been changed, truly broken. What was so amazing is that Stacy had prayed for such a change in me for many years. But only recently her prayer had changed to, "Father, your will be done" after having been given John 1:11 which speaks of children "born of God" and not of a "husband's will."

Through tears Stacy said to me, "I cannot go through my whole life without doing this." Like Gert, at age 47 after more than 20 years of marriage and with three children, my emphatic "no" had become an undeniable "yes."

So on September 25, 2005 we began this adoption journey together.

Click to hear Gert's story in his own words


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419 Comments

Wow. What a moving story. What fun lies ahead for your family! So wonderful of you to share your love and blessings with these girls who needed a family.

Congratulations, Bill! We adopted our daughter from Siberia nearly 1 year ago, after many delays. So, I know what this moment feels like. Best of luck!

Thank you for starting this blog and for sharing your story. It is incredible to relive that day when we too heard the same story in church. Nate doesn't have one particular Sunday where his heart was changed like yours, but that Sunday is definitely one of the stepping stones for him. Thank you for helping us relive it. I am so excited to know your daughters' names and to know that in just one week you will be going down to meet them. We pray for grace and peace to you!!!

Thank you for sharing this. I remember this sermon well, and it had a great impact on me also. SO amazing to realize how God changed your life a few chairs away from us that day. God is amazing!

Thanks for sharing.

Thanks for letting us share in your adoption journey. You guys have been an example of what it means to trust God when the circumstances seem impossible. The orphan' heart cries out to be embraced in the arms of a strong and loving father and mother who will provide sanctuary and belonging. By extending the blessing of adoption to these 2 beautiful girls you guys are showing the sacrificial love of our heavenly Father by saying today I have chosen you and call you my own. Their lives will be changed for eternity!

Stacy and I wanted to share some other wonderful words of encouragement that we've received over the last few days via email and through our social networks. May they bless you and others. Again, thanks for being part of our story.

WoooooHooo!

So very excited for you guys. Told Stacy I was doing the "Happy Dance" for you all, while having major goose bumps! Now I feel like I could cry. It's been a long journey and you two have been so faithful and patient when many could not. There are two darling little girls waiting, ready to be enveloped, loved on and become forever part of the Oechsler family. We will keep praying...

Congrats on the adoption process moving forward. How thrilling! Thanks for keeping us posted.

What a beautiful story! My husband and I adopted our girls from China. They're now 10 and 12 -- time flies! I'll be thinking of you. Let us know what happens next! Will you travel to Nicaragua or will your girls be brought to the US? How soon will you get to meet them? What a beautiful story!

Thank you for sharing the update. What a road you two have been on! I am sharing this with a few friends who need to hear the words you have written.

Congratulations!

I read the story and it was beautiful… much luck to you and Stacy.

Look forward to hearing how things go! May God bless you on your trip...

It was so exciting to hear your news on Twitter. Congratulations. We will be praying for you as you go through this process. We are excited to keep on it by reading your blog.

Congratulations on the adoption progress!

Thanks for sharing your blog. Love the adoption story and update. Also enjoyed your reading suggestions! Prayers continued as you move forward on your adoption journey.

Read the blog - wow, that's really exciting news. I had no idea of your journey.

What a wonderful story. That brings back memories of our journey. I always felt that the reason I did adoption work for all those years was to prepare me for my own journey through the process. We will continue to hold you in our prayers. You're in the final turn of the race and the checkered flag is getting close.
Praise God, Bill and Stacy!! It will be our privilege to move our prayers to "turbo prayers."

Amen Brother Bill! Keep us in the loop. Our prayers are still with you . . .

You are blessed.

At long last… I am really happy for you and Stacy and I'll follow along and pray for your progress. You've waited so long.

Wow...awesome!!!!!!!

A godsend. Thanks for sharing this inspiring news. We rejoice with you. Our prayers go ahead of you to Nicaragua to Rebeca and Rosalina.

Congratulations to you Bill, and to Rosalina and Rebeca who are about to get some wonderful parents.

"CONGRATS!!!"

Awesome Bill! We'll be praying for you and your family.

Congrats

That's awesome Bill! I pray that all goes well for you. Will you be able to post on FB or Twitter while you are away?

Nice story… Road to Nicaragua: Our Adoption Journey.

Touching.

Keep up the good work bro. Love ya…

Really excited for you! Can’t wait to see pictures…

Wow, congrats on the adoption. Sounds like it’s been a long journey but it won’t be long now. What lovely names. The girls must be elated. I can imagine them jumping up and down and giggling with smiles that won’t go away.

"Will be keeping you and your whole family in my prayers. God bless!"

Adopted from Kazakhstan in 2004. Quite a journey… The best on the rest of yours.

Been there! Three times, actually. Words cannot express the emotions of the ride you are on and the next steps! Congrats. Prayers B with U."

I read your updates. That is awesome.

Praying for you and your family!

This is great news. You have been pursuing this for next to forever. Congratulations, and best wishes for the final steps.

Thanks for sharing this.

I just read your adoption story on your site and wanted to say "Congratulations" and let you know I will be praying for you, Stacy, and your family as this tremendously important event in your lives unfolds.

Wow!! Congrats Bill. What a blessing.

Congrats! Awesome news.

YES! They are so lucky to be finally coming home to their fantastic family. Congratulations!

That is wonderful!! Congrats.

Bill, MAZEL TOV to you and your family! What great news!

Wonderful news.

Congrats on the good news! Can't wait to hear more...

Hey, I heard the great news from Ryan… Congrats!! Can't wait to come and meet the new members of the family.

Yahooo! Congratulations Oechslers AND Rosalina & Rebeca!

Wow! I am sooo happy for you and Stacy! Congrats! Yes, BLOG soon! When do you want a few cooked meals to come your way?? You live only a minute across the street, so we should be able to deliver! Good luck with the rest of the process and keep us posted.

Excellent news! Congratulations... I am excited you are sharing this experience thru your future blog. YEAHHHHH! Keep us tuned in for support and prayers.

for those who come by to read this, i'm the middle part of that trio Bill refers to ... adopted by the wonderful folks who would become Bill's birth parents

Bill & Stacy,

We've been anxiously waiting since that incredible Thanksgiving we spent with you in Grand Rapids. The faith and fortune you've put into your efforts to share your lives with Rosalina and Rebeca will truly be rewarded in ways you may never come to know. You'll enrich their lives in many ways that they will come to appreciate in the years to come.

If there is one small piece of advice that I can share, it would be to recognize that these impressionable young ladies have been abandoned in some way by those who brought them into this world. Abandonment issues dogged my life in every adult decision i made well into my forties and beyond, and no one not even myself was aware.

I cannot claim to know God at the level you and Stacy have come to embrace, but the greatest prayer that I could offer would be this. Allow these girls to become aware that they have the power to know themselves much better than anyone. And share with them that unseen powers of the past can be vanquished from impacting their decisions by simply remaining aware of the fact that their heritage was not of their own choosing.

It takes great love to accomplish the tasks that lie ahead of you, and i'm proud to call you my brother. Our parents gave us not only a home, but a family full of love and joy. I know you and Stacy will be doing the same for these fortunate girls you're soon to call family.

Congratulations and Best of Luck,

Brother BoB

More blessings and kind words from friends, neighbors, and family. Thanks everyone!

Stacy, what a blessing! We are thrilled for you and eager to meet your new daughters! I'll keep checking your blog and pray that you can be with your girls very soon.

Okay Stacy, I am still wiping the tears away. This is beautiful and everyone that has ever adopted, has an adopted family member or are considering adoption should read this. It is a great reminder of the heart of God for adoption. It is also a reminder of why we are on this journey!

Awesome blog! Crazy how similar our stories are! Like you I have always wanted to adopt and my husband was much like your husband. I felt so strongly that I was meant to adopt that I feared this meant he would die, I would remarry and then adopt. I begged God to change my heart so I could keep him! Well, He changed my husband and here we are. God is awesome.

Wow Bill, how amazing is our God! Your story blessed me today. Your girls are getting wonderful parents. Can't wait to see pictures of them. How exciting!! I will be praying for the both of you and Rosalina and Rebeca as you make this transition together.

Congratulations Bill! Sounds like the end of a long journey…and the beginning of another one.

"Hi Bill, great story!!"

That is sooooo wonderful Stacy!!!!! We're so very excited for you guys! I hope all goes well over there!

Dancin' along with you, Stacy....WOW!!!!

Thank you for sharing the update. What a road you two have been on! I am sharing this with a few friends who need to hear the words you have written.

Great news! Happy for you guys. Let us know if we can help with anything!

Congratulations! We will be saying some prayers for your new family additions!

WOW! Congrats.

Yeah! It’s about time.

Holy cow, that is awesome news for both of you. I am so excited. Keep us posted but we are praising God with both of you. God is good, all the time.

How exciting! Good news indeed. Congratulations to you and Stacy and God bless you both for the time, love and care that I know you’ll invest in their lives.

We're dancing with you.............yahoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That testimony by your husband is incredibly moving. From time to time my wife and I have discussed adoption as well. We came close to doing it right after Hurricane Katrina in 2005. However we became intimidated by the adoption process as it was explained that it would be the same regardless of the orphan being from Katrina or not. I don't know if this is something God wants us to do. We've got some more praying to do on it I'm sure.

I'm so glad that your prayers were answered in such a fantastic way!

I loved the story about how you and Bill began the adoption process. Those two girls are extremely fortunate to become part of your family!! What an incredible thing you all are doing, and not to mention the values you are teaching your kids. I will continue to check your Blog for updates. I'm so excited to have reconnected with you during this exciting time in your life.

So happy to hear the news! You must be over the moon! You and your whole family will be in our thoughts and prayers.

We will be so anxious to meet the girls... very exciting!

I'm impressed that you are leaving so soon! But, I know you've been waiting an eternity. I'll be praying for you and your family and for bonding and for the girls, etc!!!

Good luck Stacy, my prayers are with you and your family.

I just read it -- what a lovely story! How exciting!

We are soooo super excited for you guys! Please know that our family will be in prayer for your family. Wow...this is just huge answer to prayer! We have been so blessed to have been part of the adoption group the last couple of sessions, and it has been a privilege to get to know you two and hear part of your story...it has especially just been a huge encouragement for us...so thank you for the things that you have shared that have already impacted us and given us peace.

Responding to Brother Bob's post...
Stacy and I are speechless here in Grand Rapids. Thank you for such a beautiful, thoughtful, and raw response.

Bob's reply...
My hope is that it will be valuable for the girls. It's amazing how we sometimes miss alternative perspectives and their respective impact on lives. Again ~ Congratulations. And from all the children of the world who are lucky enough to be placed in trusting hands...Thank you both.

Bill and Stacy,

We will be married for sixteen years in August of 2009. We tried for twelve years to start a family. Our adoption journey took 4 & 1/2 years. Having just brought our daughter Jade home from China 9 months ago, we are incredibly grateful to God for this blessing!

We rejoice and walk with you,

Mike and Vanessa Carroll

www.babysites.com/sites/jadecarroll

This is awesome!!! I am sooo glad my parents want to help these girls! I love you Mommy and Daddy of 5!!!!!!!!


Congratulations, you guys! I pray that all continues to go well. I personally can't comprehend how difficult the waiting process must have been. I get really uncomfortable with those stories in Scripture where God takes someone out to the wilderness "just to wait" (I joke with my wife that I don't know if I could have worked 14 years for her, like Jacob did for Rachel). But as we know, it's those times of perseverance that shape us more than we could imagine. And that foundation of love that you've laid through your persistence will follow those two beautiful girls the rest of their lives. God bless your family.

Wow, Bill and Stacy, what a joy to read about this journey for you! Please know that your friends at LIFE will join you in prayer and celebration as you go. I praise the Lord for bringing these two girls into your wonderful family! Ps.68:6 His ways are so beautiful!

Wow!
Bill and Stacy I could not be more excited for anybody. I remain in awe of how the Lord has guided you thru this amazing journey. I will continue to uphold you in my prayers over the coming months as you will face many wonderful and challenging issues.
God Bless!

Kurt Dillinger

Stacy and I can't thank you all enough. We will be taking your thoughts and prayers with us to Managua. Se requiere de todo un pueblo para educar una niña (o dos niñas). Es la verdad!

Serious Congratulations. Love the names. Let the beauty begin... and the love.

Great news. Praise God! We will continue to pray for you and your family as you navigate this process in Nicaragua .

I have tears of joy for you all. Soooooooooooooooooooooo great hearing this news. Love and hugs.

I was touched to hear your “story behind the story.” It brought tears. How exciting for your family and how powerful to know your two daughters names… Rosalina and Rebeca. God is exciting!

Awesome! Keep us posted.

It is so wonderful to discover how God provides, transforms, and gives us the desires of our hearts. Please give our love to Stacy. Thanks for the update… what an incredible journey!!!

Glad to hear things are going well and your journey is taking you down the right path. Thanks for keeping in touch.

I'm so happy for you, Stacy and the kids. Hope the rest of the journey goes as smooth as possible.

Yahoo!! Congrats to the entire Xler family.

Excellent – thanks for the info, Bill. I look forward to observing your journey.

Thanks for this note regarding your adoption process. Didn't know that was in the works for you and Stacy. Wow, pretty cool. We'll be praying for this process for you and your family.

Congrats. Godspeed.

Congratulations! Drop me a line with more details when you get a chance.

So glad to hear your encouraging news! You guys must be so excited!

Great news for your family!

What wonderful news! You and Stacy will be in my prayers these next months.

We rejoice with you. Thanks for sharing this incredible news.

First, thanks for sharing. I resonate with your journey. My wife and I are three years into marriage. No kids yet. Adoption is a passion of ours. Second, my prayer is God would continue to show himself to you and your entire family throughout this process. I pray you will see more of Him than you ever have. Can’t wait to follow along.

WAHOO! Answers to prayers like crazy. Praise God for this wonderful answer. I'll be praying for a positive connection with the kids and for the paper work to go through like lightening. God knows. Rest in Him.

Hi Stacy! I saw Bill on Friday and he told me about the girls!! YAY! I'm so excited for you guys!

Wow, Bill! That’s wonderful. This is indeed a calling for you and your wife. The Lord will make your path plain.

We'll be praying for you guys!! Keep in touch as much as you can...

You and Stacy are blessed indeed. Our friends finally got their twin sons “adoption papers” from a court in Addis Ababa.

This is fantastic! Truly wonderful. Get down there and get them right away! Godspeed.

Great news, Bill! Congratulations to you and Stacy! Blessings!

We are so happy for you! Thanks for posting your blog, I have been wondering how things are with your adoption. Look forward to hearing more...

Bill,

I have always enjoyed our conversations about your desire to adopt, but this more complete story shows so much more of your and Stacy's hearts. May the Lord continue to bless you and keep your new family in his arms.

Phil >

Bill and Stacy, this is such great news! We'll pray for patience during the last "wait"--which I know is sometimes the hardest! PLEASE let us know how we can help--meals, painting new rooms, whatever. We'd love to do anything you need.
Shalom.
Lori (& Kurt)

Bill,

I look forward to seeing pictures. I can't imagine what the feeling must be like to wait this long and then be introduced.

in my prayers,

Tim

What a journey! And it's only starting!!

As Mother Teresa once reminded us of His words – "whatever you do for one of the least of these, you did for me."

We wish for His blessings as you bring Rosalina and Rebeca home and as you raise them with His leadership!!!

The McKendry's

Bill & Stacy, wonderful blessings and kudos to you both. What a great gift you are giving these children and they are giving you and God gives us all. This is a beautiful, moving story. And Bill, you are beautiful storyteller, as always. I can't lie and tell you I'm not a bit envious as I have no living children now myself. But my sorrow is only mine (and Malissa's) and only temporary...as Britt is with God and we will be too in time. And honestly, it only helps to hear of stories like yours, doing God's work and caring for this hurting world. I share that desire and work, even if it takes different forms. God bless and protect you, my dear friends. Clay

We thank you for sharing your wonderful thoughts and personal stories. Each one helps give us strength for the journey.

Since landing in Nicaragua almost a week ago, our days have been incredibly full. We fall into bed each night emotionally, relationally, spiritually, and physically spent but wake up saying, "again!"

As many of you know, the process that got us this far has been a long one. We also know that there are still many more steps to complete before we are finally home. But each day our family grows just a little closer. And that's enough for right now.

Bill & Stacy

Clayton:

We have been through so much since you and I first met on that late night train in Chicago. Truly, we cannot do this (life) without God and without others who come alongside of us in both our joy and sorrow.

Stacy and I have thought about you during recent visits to the towns of Granada and Katarina here in Nicaragua. Both are perfect communities for an expatriate writer—colorful, welcoming, and culturally rich. One day perhaps...

Appreciate you my brother.

Bill

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